Category Archives: Personal

More of You, Less of me

I’m struggling.  I haven’t been able to quiet get my finger on the problem, but I know it’s there.

It manifests itself in the dirty house I’ve neglected, the extra time spent online doing absolutely nothing, the dissatisfaction that sends me to old vices, and the frustration I’ve been feeling toward my children way too often.

And so I keep coming back to my “Word for 2014“.

P1020401

I bring my struggle to the Lord.  Over and over.  My heart’s deepest cry is, “More of You!  Less of me!”  My weaknesses seem overwhelming.  I cannot do this on my own.

Today He whispered back, “My grace is sufficient.”

I dried my tears, looked up those words, and took a deep breath.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

I know I’m not the only one out there feeling this way.  Whether it’s being halfway through the homeschool year, trying to mother lots of little ones, keeping up with housework, or much more serious issues causing you to feel like you’re floundering, the message in the same.  Lean on Him.  Your weakness does not mean failure; it is a place for Christ’s power to come and rest.

If I could reach out and give you a hug, I would.  But since I can’t, just know that I’m praying for you too as I week at His feet.  You’re not alone.

heart photo: heart heart.jpg

My Word for 2014: Pray!

Over the past few years it’s become popular for bloggers (and others?) to choose a single word to represent their focus in the coming year.  I never felt inclined to jump on the bandwagon until some of the Schoolhouse Review Crew were getting ready to share about their “Word for 2014,” and I felt a gentle nudge that I’ve learned not to ignore.

P1020401

Such a simple little word, yet such a challenge for me.  Years ago I remembering telling a friend that I hoped prayer would be a definitive part of my life.

“I want to be a woman of prayer,” I passionately declared.

“Then do it,” he wisely replied.

That’s all it takes, isn’t it?  Doing it.  But despite my desire I did not do it, at least not to the extent I would have liked.  And as the years have passed, I’ve often remembered that conversation, but still never moved in the right direction.

I’m hoping to change that in 2014.  Lately I’ve been more and more aware of many areas in which I fall short.  I need the Lord’s help in so many ways, and yet I’ve spent more time worrying about my weakness than I have turning to Him in prayer.  I want Him to be a part of every aspect of my life:

  • help to be more patient
  • the words to speak in certain situations
  • wisdom in dealing with my children
  • understanding the unique way each of my children is designed
  • decisions about school
  • what activities to get involved in
  • how to disciple our children more effectively
  • praying for my children (especially some of the topics from the books The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian)

These are just a few of the things I want to be praying about more and listening for His guidance.

I also want to be a better model for my children when it comes to prayer.  Whenever I do pray throughout the day my children have no idea what’s going on apart from formal “scheduled” prayers.  I want to not just pray, but to pray out loud.  If I want them to see what it looks like to trust God and seek Him in every part of our lives, I need to be more transparent and let them into my spiritual life.  So in 2014, this word will be posted around our house, impressed upon my heart, and hopefully become a more consistent part of my day.

“Pray without ceasing.” 1 Thes 5:17

Word for 2014

Choosing the Best, Letting Go of the Rest

We’re taking a holiday break from schoolwork, which is giving me time to evaluate how things have been going since we started Kindergarten last July.  There’s a phrase I’ve heard repeated over and over by experienced homeschool moms in discussing curriculum and addressing the fear that we might miss some important concepts: “There will always be holes.”  (The point being that whether our children are educated at home or in a tradition school setting, there are things they are not going to learn, but if we instill a love of learning, they will be able to fill in those gaps on their own as needed.)  I always thought they said that because we’d accidentally miss some things along the way, but now I realize it’s because there just isn’t enough time to do everything.  There are so many good books out there!

P1020364

My schoolroom shelves betray my attempt to collect them all.  Just kidding.  (Kind of. I keep a lot more on my Kindle.)  Seriously though, have you noticed how today’s libraries are so full of “twaddle,” with a few of the big name classics thrown in?  It can be hard to find the old stories you loved growing up.  (Can you believe my library doesn’t have a Baby Island by Carol Ryrie Brink, who also wrote the Newberry Medal-winning Caddie Woodlawn?  I know!  I couldn’t either.) And so I’ve chosen to build my own library. I’ve always liked owning books.  Even as a little girl, I loved buying my own copy of my favorites.  (That’s actually where many of these came from.)  Libraries are fine for the books you only read once, but some characters are friends you want to visit with again and again, and you just want them nearby so you can reach out and be with them any time you choose.

When I decided to create a “Year o.5” similar to what is included in the Ambleside Online curriculum to use for a more structured Kindergarten year than just the “Year 0” booklist (which we’d pretty much exhausted), I looked at what other moms had suggested.  I ended up with a HUGE list of wonderful books about history, nature, fairy tales, children around the world, and much more.  I pared it down once, eliminating titles that didn’t interest me or that seemed redundant, and saved it for myself to reference as our “School Booklist.”  Then I pared it down again with what I thought we might possibly get to over the course of a year.  (This is what I posted back over the summer in “Kindergarten Our Way.”)

As I looked over what we had covered since starting in July and the pace at which we were moving through some of the books, I realized it still was not going to be possible to get through all the good books that were on my list.   Our days are already full, so I don’t want to do more each week to try to squeeze in a few more books by the end of the school year.

I’m realizing that there will always be good books that I want to read with my children.  The trick is discerning which ones are the real treasures, not to be missed.  As the kids get older, they can read some of the ones we’ve missed.  And other they may never get to.  With what little time we do have (especially allowing for plenty of creative play both indoors and out), it’s essential that we figure out what is best and let go of the rest.

Does this mean that book shelf will be looking emptier soon?  Um, no.  (I hear my mom sighing.)  I hope my children will go through these shelves on their own as the years go by and dive into the wonderful worlds contained in the pages of these books for themselves.  My job is to expose them to the best of the best in order to whet their appetites for the delight that comes from reading a good book and learning about all that exists outside the small spheres of their own experience.  Then they can spend the rest of their lives devouring all that is out there, doing their best to satiate that burning hunger for knowledge.

Recent Entries »